So you think you have the cojones to live in Indiana?
I thought I did too until I got here. Let me be quick to point out that it takes more than being able to say “French Lick” without smiling to make it big. Learn from my mistakes. This short and to-the-point guide is your one-stop-shop for a successful transition into life in Indiana!
10. Don’t ask what a “Hoosier” is. I’ll let you in on a little secret: no one really knows. There are about 20 different definition variations depending upon what part of the state you’re in. Just except that they flexibly use the term and move on.
9. There is a lot of corn here; try not to be intimidated. And unless you want to pray to the porcelain maiden, stay away from the hard corn; it’s for the farm animals to eat, not us.
8. You will be immediately judged and labeled as soon as you answer the seemingly innocent question: “Purdue or IU?” Choose wisely.
7. Layer! I cannot stress this enough, the weather is out of control here. 80° one minute, 60° the next; get used to it and welcome to your new home.
6. Midwesterners are some of the friendliest people you will ever meet. You aren’t in New York City or LA anymore, if you open doors and say, “Hello” to people, the favor will be returned.
5. Say it with me: “WAH-bash.” You will be looked at funny for saying something preposterous like “was-BAHSH.” It is the WAH-bash River.
4. Learn to pick your battles wisely while you’re here. You can ask for a soda as many times as you’d like, but until you politely ask for a “pop” you are going to be extremely thirsty.
3. It is WINDY here! For those pushing 120 when wet, may I suggest a hearty breakfast and rocks in your pockets to keep from being swept away. Note: Wind Travel comparable to Rowling’s mythical “Floo Network”; regardless, much more convenient than bussing system.
2. Let it go, we know there aren’t any mountains here. Every once in a while, close your eyes while you’re taking the steps. You may physically be walking up six flights to get to your apartment or dorm room, but mentally you may very well be scaling the Rockies and no one is any wiser.
1. Two words: Bottled Water.